Being
Versus Doing - Stramp
The biggest
handicap most of us face as parents, relatives, friends or
supporters of people with disabilities is our ignorance of any
direct experience of disability. Screening out our own bias of what
is best for our children is a life-long job for many of us. We carry
an invisible backpack of stereotypes based on our non-disabled view
of the world. Our insights can be feeble and patronizing. Eloquent
expressions of life as a person with a disability enlighten us. Most
helpful are those accounts by people who become disabled later in
life. Somehow an articulate comparison of life before and after
disability and a description of the transition provides us with a
basis for comparison with our own experience.
One of the
most stirring accounts we have encountered so far is contained in
Bonnie Sherr Klein’s beautiful portrait of her evolution: a
brilliant filmmaker, the creator of Not a Love Story and Speaking
Our Peace becomes a woman with a disability.
Her book, Slow
Dance - A Story of Love, Stroke and Disability, is a
deeply moving story of her recovery from two catastrophic strokes
that nearly killed her. Incidentally, the book is also an account
of a loving marriage: Bonnie and Michael’s relationship will fill
you with joy, envy, and hope. Nowhere have we read as articulate,
detailed and gripping an account of the experience of disability.
As Eileen O’Brien, Chair of DisAbled Women’s Network (DAWN) Canada
points out, "A new language is being spoken here: this is our
experience."
Slow Dance is
also the story of Bonnie Sherr Klein’s awakening to a fuller
appreciation of her many gifts, not just the gifts of a talented
filmmaker. At the end of her book she invites us to ponder the
wisdom of another gift — the gift of asking:
"What
I have learned finally is that in asking for help I offer other
people an opportunity for intimacy and collaboration. Whether I’m
asking for me personally or for disabled people generally, I give
them the opportunity to be their most human. In Judaism, we call
this gift a "mitzvah."
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